#43 - Repair, Reinforce, Rebuild
Edition #43 of the Lighthouse miniLetter!
You'll always get:
Three examples of great screenwriting
Two quotes about storytelling
One thing to think about
Plus some fun links at the bottom.
Three examples of great screenwriting
Prey
Story by Patrick Aison & Dan Trachtenberg, Screenplay by Patrick Aison
I love the way this last line contextualizes the themes of the movie, but what’s also lovely is the way that it’s tucked in at the end so that it doesn’t take up any extra lines.
I’ve talked before about how to take full advantage of your real estate with occasional “unfilmables” and here’s a shining example.
Alias (Pilot)
Written by JJ Abrams
“…I thought you sold airplane parts…?”
“I don’t sell airplane parts, I never sold airplane parts.”
Repetition in dialogue is a great way to add rhythm and voice.
Simple and effective.
The Escapist
Written by Rudi O’Meara
This is the second of many dream sequences, in a script about a young German soldier in Hitler’s personal band. To “escape” the reality of his situation, he continually daydreams sequences like the one above. The actual story takes place in B&W, and his fantasies in old Hollywood technicolor.
The color transition is marked every time, and O’Meara displays remarkable consistency with his simple conceit. When the story is in B&W, he doesn’t describe colors. When it’s in color, every chance he has to add color, he takes it.
Look at the passage above. Black. Silver. Pink. Cream. Pink. Pink.
He takes time to blast the colors in our eyes, then he begins the RAGTIME TUNE and dance sequence. We can’t help but see it in color.
My favorite example of his color imagery is on the very last page, which I won’t spoil for you here, so you’ll have to read it yourself.
Two quotes about screenwriting
“Never try to convey your idea to the audience - it is a thankless and senseless task. Show them life, and they’ll find within themselves the means to assess and appreciate it.”
“In books and films there are things that move me a lot, they are life’s rituals: people sharing breakfast, people taking off their shoes when they come in, people who make their beds when they get up in the morning, those who don’t, those that open the window to let fresh air come in, etc. Rituals.”
One thing to think about
What are you rewriting?
Rewrites are daunting. Especially on an initial draft.
A framework I use to help organize my rewrite is to put notes into one of three categories.
Repair.
Reinforce.
Rebuild.
Repairs are mostly cosmetic changes. That place where a line was just a little clunky, or a character name wasn’t consistent. Maybe a fact was wrong. These are (usually) pretty simple.
Reinforcements are those places where something is working, and you may have received a note or suggestion on how to improve it. These are fun. Doubling down on what’s really clicking. Don’t forget this part of the rewrite!
Rebuilds are the tough ones. Where it’s just not working. The notes your receiving may not be able to articulate why, but they’re definitely articulating what. These can take time, and exploration. You have to go back to the drawing board, and it can be difficult, because you’ve already started to form a pretty good idea of what the scene is. Sometimes you have to lose that idea entirely to discover the better one.
Addressing everything in a rewrite is always difficult, so make it easy and distinguish your notes from one another. Address each one individually and separately. Make a plan, and map out what you want to achieve in the rewrite, and how you plan to achieve it.
What’s the phrase? “A problem well defined is a problem half solved” or something like that.
Before you dive in, you should always ask:
What are you rewriting?
Have a great draft,
David Wappel
PS Don’t Miss
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