#41 - This Draft
Edition #41 of the Lighthouse miniLetter!
You'll always get:
Three examples of great screenwriting
Two quotes about storytelling
One thing to think about
Plus some fun links at the bottom.
Three examples of great screenwriting
Life on Mars (Pilot)
Written by Matthew Graham and Ashley Pharoah
Check out how the first few images are connected to each other.
A photo.
Reflected in the photo’s glass we see the TV. Then the TV.
The TV connects to the apartment, followed with SAM. Then we get description of the apartment, followed by description of Sam.
You can feel your eye gliding from one thing to another throughout this room.
Moby Dick
Screenplay by Rad Bradbury, John Huston, Norman Corwin
When you’ve got a literary source, it works to stick with a literary style. “Dwarfed by this mighty vista, a speck of a man descends toward the grey vastness of the ocean.”
I also like that we get two specific colors in the opening paragraph. “Black” in the cliffs, “grey” in the ocean. Priming us for the white whale.
Also note the simple “In b.g.,” used in the third paragraph. Interesting. I don’t mind the lowercase abbreviation.
No Regrets (Pilot)
Written by Samantha Levenshus
I love everything Levenshus writes, but this character introduction struck me as so simple, so clear, and so confident. I love the interplay of “who cries when she’s in trouble (which isn’t often) and then the very specific description of her car.
I sense a multi-dimensional person and I picture a specific teenager with her idiosyncrasies.
I think there’s also some clever wordplay hidden in here. Does “in trouble” mean “caught doing something bad” or does it mean “in a difficult situation?”
I guess you’ll have to read to find out.
Two quotes about screenwriting
“If we can make the love story work between the guy and the girl, Superman and Lois, we can get the audience to root for these kids to get together, then we got the movie”
“I have a deep belief that in order to live better in the present, we need to tell more truthful stories about our past.”
One thing to think about
Why are you sharing this draft?
Is it because it’s done?
Is it because you want someone else to tell you what’s wrong with?
Is it because you want someone else to tell you what’s great about it?
Is it because you’re in a writers group and pages are due?
Is it because the deadline’s up and the producers are waiting?
Is it because you’re testing to see if nobody else notices the scene that you know could be better, but just don’t quite know how to crack and if nobody else notices then you guess it is the best version of that scene and that nagging voice in your head that’s telling you it was phoned in will hopefully go away?
There is no one reason to share a draft with others. There are many, and it can be different each time.
Just know your reason.
Why are you sharing this draft?
Have a great draft,
David Wappel
PS Don’t Miss
A few of my personal favorite links from the past year...